June 15, 2021
This has been the longest of nights and days. Following the removal of life support on Monday night, because of Holland's health and young age, her body, though broken, was strong and held out until the early afternoon. Remember, this girl was the one who could lift 300 pounds.
Dozing in and out sitting in a spinning chair while holding her hand was worth every moment, but was also gut wrenching. Watching the monitor for signs of change in her condition that might not be apparent to us visually, praying for peace, it was an unimaginable situation, just 2 weeks ago. Our thoughts are still hard to express, our gratitude for the Lord's mercy is constant, but everything else just feels impossible to contain at this point. We look at pictures and video clips of her, ones we have and ones others have shared. I am thankful for those we share our lives with and those that have made posts about her. It is a bright spot to see how full of life she was and remember.
Watching her prepare to leave her body was one of the hardest and most sacred experiences. This song expresses the theme on our hearts...
Abide with me; 'tis eventide. The day is past and gone; The shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on. Within my heart a welcome guest, Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.
Abide with me; 'tis eventide. Thy walk today with me Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul And kept me near thy side. Abide with me; 'tis eventide, And lone will be the night If I cannot commune with thee Nor find in thee my light. The darkness of the world, I fear, Would in my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.
It is hard to completely understand why things happen the way they do. It is a comfort to know that our Heavenly Father allows every struggle, every heartache, and every tear we experience to be an opportunity to become more like Him if we let Him guide us through them. It still hurts. We very much miss her. We love her so much!
Hold on to your loved ones. Tell them how important they are to you. Every moment of life is precious.
